Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A heart issue

The one common thread that seems to be woven in so many areas of my life right now is the issue of my heart. It seems that wherever I turn lately, this pops up: books, sermons, music, discussions with Buttercup. I find it easy to read the scripture that talks about our "guarding our heart, as it is the wellspring of life" but not so easy to comprehend that attitudes, actions and the words that come from my mouth say more about what is in my heart. Again, I was hit over the head with this theme yesterday in a daily devotion I get via email:

"You’ve been given the responsibility to guard your heart and to keep track of the things you hide inside it. So, what’s in there? An­ger? Lust? Ugly images from TV, the movies, or the web? Are you harboring bitterness? Greed? Are you envious of others? If you’re struggling with these things maybe it’s because you have more of the world’s wisdom in your heart than the true wisdom of God."

I have never really gotten a handle on why I am so quick to anger and struggle with the negative things that come out of my heart. I really can't put a finger on why I tend to be more negative and focus there rather than building the ones that I love up instead. Am I bitter about things and don't even realize it? If I truly filled with the wisdom of God? I can't say that I am or would I really struggle daily with this?

Being a parent of a teenager is another way that God is working on my heart. It is like having a mirror pointed straight at me every day! How can I expect the actions of my daughter to be any different than what I am modeling for her? The one thing I have learned very quickly parenting this age, is that they are not shy about telling you when you don't walk the talk....

I really do want to have a transformed heart and want my actions and words to reflect this. I am taking small steps in my relationship with Buttercup and my girls and praying daily for strength in this area.

My goal is to fill my heart with God's wisdom which only really comes from spending time in his Word and not trying to fill my heart with the garbage of this world.

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . . they are cramming for their final.” - George Carlin (1937-2008)

1 comment:

Toirdhealbheach Beucail said...

A thought, prompted by Malachi 3:13-15: Many people never even get to the issues of the heart, seeing "obeying" God as only a matter of outward behavior - and then either throwing in the towel, huffing that "See? It really doesn't matter to God" or continuing to outwardly obey, even as they feel God owes them something. Be thankful that you're bothered enough by it to look inside your heart - it's a sign that the Spirit is doing His painful but necessary work in you!