Talk to Dad

I am facilitating the discussion in our Community Group tonight and the topic is Sunday's Sermon which was: Pray like Jesus: The Lords Prayer. The Lords prayer is one prayer with six different types of prayer within it. The first one is Adoration (Our Father) which is really simply viewing praying to God as "Talking to Dad". I heard a great statement that if you want to learn how to pray, look at kids with good Dads and see how the kids talk to their Dad. It got me thinking that maybe the reason why we feel so far afar from God at certain times or phases in our lives is that we don't approach praying as simply talking with our Dad. How would our pray life change if we view it like this?

Teenagers!

Now that we have a teenager in the house, it has become apparent (almost on a daily basis!)that we as parents are no longer cool and that we don't know what we are talking about. For example, any idea that comes from either Mom or Dad is instantly shot down or frowned upon where as that same idea (i.e music, book, craft, clothing) that comes from her, is really cool? In a book that I just finished and strongly recommend (Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker) it gives a great suggestion in how to deal the the attitudes or as they are now known now a days as simply the "tude". Since every response that we tend to get from this age group is met with sarcastic verbal and non verbal tones, she suggests simply remaining calm and not letting them get you riled up and not responding with anger or emotion. To most of you who are must smarter than I, this may sound like a "duh" statement but for me this is much easier said than done. This is one area that I need to get much better at and I am sure that I will have many opportunities to do this!

And we thought the baby stage was challenging....

Justice

I have been reminded (beat over the head might be a better way of putting it) by many circumstances recently where Justice has been a major common theme. It made me realize that as I look back on past circumstances, there have been many times that I did or said nothing. I was explaining to our almost teenager ( t-minus 2 days) recently what sins of omission are vs. sins of commission. Why is it that sometimes my first reaction is to remain quite or to not react at all? Do I really believe that when I don't say or do something that I should that it is a sin? When I stop to think about these times and when thoughts have crossed my mind, I believe it is closely tied to selfishness. So many times I want and choose to do things that make me happy while not considering how it will impact others. I tend let me family down by not meeting their needs. I might be there physically but I am in my own world.

One of my personal goals this year has to become a more generous person, both with my time and money. This doesn't come natural for me but is something that I really need to work on and also is tied to selfishness. Becoming a generous person with my money especially is one way that I can try to let go of some of my control issues and stop trying to be the master of my own domain.

Somehow through the grace of God I have been blessed with having a wife and kids who have a strong sense of Justice. Who said that God doesn't have a sense or humor!!

A blogging family

I came home this week from an overnight business trip to find that my better half had started her own blog! What suprises me is not that she is writing because she is one of the best writers I know, but that she set it all up without any help. This weekend my soon to be teenager also decided to set one up as well. One thing I know for sure is I should be more motivated to post more now that almost my entire family is blogging.....

Prayer

Prayer without action is just religion in hiding....

Difference between belief and faith

"Our religious beliefs are the visible expression our our faith, our personal commitment to the person of Jesus. However, if the Christian beliefs inherited from our family and passed on to us by our church tradition are not grounded in a shattering, life-changing experience of Jesus as the Christ, then the chasm between our credal statements and our faith-experience widens and our witness is worthless. The gospel will persuade no one unless it has so convicted us that we are transformed by it."-Brennan Manning

A Rabbi's Prayer

"Dear Lord, grant me the grace of wonder. Surprise me, amaze me, awe me in every crevice of Your universe. Delight me to see how Your Christ plays in in ten thousand places, lovely in limbs and lovely in eyes not His, to the Father through the marvelous things without number. I do not ask to see the reason for it all: I ask only to share the wonder of it all."-Joshua Abraham HeschelTruly great words to contemplate and meditate on when the arrows of life seemed to always been aimed in our direction.

Emotions

People are likeSticks of dynamite....The powers on the inside,but nothing happensuntil the fuse gets litI posted these great sayings from a business book I have been reading, entitled "The Power of Attitude." This is a reminder that I need to focus on the important things and not get bogged down with the little things in life that can so easily entangle us.

Sing your Song

A bird does not singbecause it has an answer,It sings because it has a song.-Chinese Proverb

Courage

Courage does not always roar.Sometimes it is the quiet voiceAt the end of the day,saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

Not even close to being bold enough!

Received an email today from my boss asking if we (my team) had read the book, "The Secret". Being the sarcastic person I am, I responded that I wouldn't be reading that book. When she asked Why? (since she was going to buy it for the team and have us read it) I told her it was personal. Later today when I was discussing a work related matter with her, she asked what I had against that book.....have you even had a wide open door to a deeper and more meaningful conversation and totally froze?? Just when I was patting myself on the back for being somewhat bold, I totally fumbled the ball and didn't make it into the end zone...Times like today make me marvel at the early Christian Martyrs and the others who were willing to die or be brutally tortured for their faith. While I don't even have the guts to explain to the boss that I don't want to read a book that opposes what I believe and what I feel strongly about.

Conversations

The parents came over to the compound on Friday while the girls were on spring break. We had a very relaxing day together and enjoyed many laughs. The best part of the day was the multiple conversations Dad and I had. The topics included: Church, Faith, Service, community, childhood. I can't remember the last time we talked like that and hope to have more of these in near future. I hope that in the future when the roles are reversed, so to speak, that I will have the oppty to experience this with my girls!

Searching

SWMBO and I sat down and watched the Movie "Into the Wild" this week. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind, as it was not only sad but thought provoking and in my opinion, well worth renting. The main character has what the world around him views as wealth and plenty but he is disgusted by wealth and sets out on a journey to fine "true happiness". He continues to keep moving on and searching for his "end goal" which he believes will provide him with the happiness he is so badly craving. The sadness comes as you are watching him interact with the many different people he meets and becomes his new family and as you gets further away from the dysfunctional family, he was born into. What he doesn't realize until it is too late, is that this interaction with genuine and loving people is the "true happiness" he is longing for.How often do I "pass by" or miss the true happiness moments in my life, because I too focused on searching for what I believe is the real end goal? It seems so often that we don't realize that the rewards are in the journey and not the destination....

Random Lyrics

A Dream doesn't need to have motion, to keep it's spark alive....We each pay a fabulous price for our visions of paradise but a spirit with a vision is a dream with a mission.....Living in their pools, they soon forget about the seas...There is never love without pain....Too many hands on my time, Too many feelings, Too many things on my mind, When I leave I don't know What I'm hoping to find, When I leave I don't know, What I'm leaving behind...Why don't you kick yourself out, your an immigrant too!

Temptations(not the group!)

The images of immorality are ubiquitous, and they’re intended to hijack your mind, your heart, your pocketbook, your life, and your soul. Don’t let them do it.

Wealth

I had the opportunity to support a friend today by attending his sentencing in Federal Court and on all days, Good Friday! One of the statements that the Judge made today has stuck with me and made me think about why we only view wealth by our material possessions. The Judge said that "JL was a truly wealthy man because of all the wonderful friends and family that he has". May this be the last day that I judge my wealth by my Saving account, 401k or the value of my house. Instead I hope that everyday I stop to think about the blessing and the beauty of those around me who love me and who I have the oppty to love.

The signs of Spring

Each year and ESPECIALLY this year I look forward to seeing our trees starting budding and producing the vibrant Easter colors that don't seem to ever last long enough. A co-worker today summed up what its like living here. "Living in Washington is like having a Gorgeous Super Model for a girlfriend, but her always being sick!"I seem to also be noticing other "signs" of spring in my life including work, family, church and in the conversations that I have cherished lately with those who have taken the time to be part of my life.

The Reality...

of Salvation and Grace. It seems that we so often have a hard time truly understanding the gift of Grace and what it really means. Doesn't it seem too easy sometimes or even most times? Were we as Christians brought up living in the "house of fear" instead of the "house of love" as Brennan Manning describes in his book, The Ragamuffin Gospel. The gift of Salvation and Grace is just that a gift! We don't need to earn it or continue to try to earn it. This has really hit home this week as I think about the sermon I heard regarding the Day of Atonement and contemplate what this Holy Week truly is about....I truly want to try to spend more time in the Room of Grace rather than the Room of Good Intentions.

The concept of Worship

The pursuit of joy or happiness is a long and bumpy road. I have realized lately that by who or what I have chosen to worship, I have made that road longer and bumpier. What is Worship? I read recently that Worship is not something done just by Christians or "spiritual" people. Rather, since everyone was made to worship God, everyone is in fact a worshiper whether or not he has any religious or spiritual devotion. This may sound very elementary but we can find out what or who we worship by looking at our daily calendars, our checkbook or our activities. In my case, who do we turn to when the stress levels increase in our lives, problems at work or we have relationship problems with our loved ones or friends. I would say that it is easy to worship God when things are going well and we feel satisfied or happy. Where the rub comes in is those times that things are not going well, when we can't catch a break or we can't keep our "personal demons" at bay.I am trying to learn what true worship to God looks like in my daily life and not just in a hour or two a week when we gather together. How can I make sure that my actions, thoughts and $$ reflect my worship to God instead of my worship to my selfish desires?

Heavenly Thoughts

There is a guy in a weekly Bible Study I attend who is struggling with the hard concept of how a loving God could send anyone to Heaven. I admire him for having the courage to express this verbally to a large group of men who don't seem to share his same concern. His life experiences explain a lot as to why he feels this way, but I realized as the few weeks have gone by that I keep going back to this question. I read a great quote from on of my favorite Authors that puts it this way; "While some people struggle with the idea of a loving God sending people to hell, what I truly struggle with is how a holy God could allow anyone into Heaven."

The many faces...

I heard a quote a while back that stated that "relationships are messy" This unfortunately has become more than true over the last few weeks. Do I expect more out of my relationships with people that they do or have I misinterpreted their true motives? No easy answer for sure but one that has been a struggle lately. How do you show Grace, love and maturity toward people who you thought cared about you and your spouse, but have verbally abused you, to your face and behind your back? All because you have followed your heart and convictions that you believe God is revealing, in your life. What makes this so much more difficult is that this has happened by people in leadership positions in a church. No one who has ever walked this planet is perfect, however you expect to get "beat up" and abused by the world, not by the church and the people that have been in your life for 4+ years! I am struggling with how not to react in anger and revenge and at the same time standing up for my wife who is getting the brunt of this messiness. There seems to be a fine line between speaking the truth about injustice and wanting to get revenge or to respond in a selfish manner. The irony of life is that at the time that these relationships are showing their true colors or many faces, I am so blessed to have two men in my life that I consider true friends(The Writer and the Salesman). Although, they could not be more polar opposites they are beacons of light and they speak wisdom in my life. They more than anyone in my life have shown me what it is to be a friend and I am forever greatful for their time and energy that they have shown me. I am also blessed to have a strong and growing relationship with the Mrs. We have become so much closer over the last year or two. We haven't always had the best of times, so this is a true answer to prayer. I know it sounds like a cliche, but I truly wouldn't be who I am today, without her!

Parenting!

One could say that my immaturity shines through in the following statements: "I didn't know how hard parenting would be!" or "I thought it got easier as they got older.." Parenting a Jr. Higher is not easy and seems to hit the Mrs and I like a bucket of cold water thrown in our face every day. It has been a daily battle over the last couple of weeks and the fun climaxed this week. Due to catching our #1 in a lie about school work, we sat down and created a Contract with #1. I have high hopes that this will finally resinate with her and will start to change her behaivor.The blessing though that "she would must not be ignored" or the Mrs have been giving is that this challenge or struggle seems to have drawn us even closer together and has ensured we are on the same page with our parenting.

Overdue?

37 days! OK, since I was so kindly reminded last night by a fellow "blogger" about how long it had been since my last post, I had to count the days. I can only tell you that the length of time between writings does not represent any lack of "forward progress" in my life. 2008 has started out to be a great year so far. I am thoroughly enjoying growing my relationships with all three girls of the house (She who must be obeyed, the oldest & the youngest) and I can honestly tell you that the single act of getting rid of Cable TV has done wonders. The two big changes that have come out of this are the fact that I am carving out Daddy dates each week with both girls as well as reading the Bible to them every night before bed. The Mrs has had to carry the torch of being the Spiritual leader of the household for way to long, due to my laziness. I am glad to take the torch from her and to play a much bigger role in their lives.The Mrs and I have also been talking about finding an opportunity to serve the community as a family. We are investigating what is out there and where God might have a place for us..More to come!

Validation

I had the opportunity today to be a part of an interview panel, and to sit on the other side of the table for once. It was a great experience in that it validated to me that I have actually grown quite a bit in my current role, over the last 4 hours (since I was interviewed and obtained my current position). I have numerous times where I wonder if I have grown in my professional career, so this was a nice "gift" today.I am also happy to report that I have officially been on my current work out/diet routine for almost 3 months now. This is a big milestone for me as I have never been able to keep it going for this lone. I am currently down 18 lbs and starting to really notice some changes...not just in my waistline but even more importantly in my disposition.Things are going really good on the family front as we have had much more Family Time together over the last couple of weeks. We are still adjusting to no Cable TV but I can tell you that we have laughed more as a family than we have in quite some time!I have been reading "Just walk across the Room" and look forward to sharing with you some of the nuggets in my next post.

Cable TV

I never thought I would say this but we have officially disconnected our Cable TV service. The Mrs. and I have had many conversations recently about how much time we waste watching TV instead of spending quality family time together. Most people are able to moderate the time they spend watching TV, but unfortunately I am not like most people. It has gotten to be too much of an addiction and a rut that we seem to not be able to get out off. When the Mrs and I were on our weekly date last week we discussed how we are great "talkers" but never seem to act on anything.......I look forward to the extra time that we will now have in our daily schedule and the opportunity to spend more quality time as a family. I also look forward to sharing with you in the near future about what has changed in the Otis household.

Long obedience in the same direction

This was a quote by Eugene Petersen that I heard mentioned recently by my favorite Pastor, Mark Driscoll. Mark Pastors Mars Hill Church which is viewed as a Biblically conservative but Culturally liberal church. I listen to his sermon pod casts while I am working out and when I am traveling...but I digress. This quote has really been speaking to me lately as I have been struggling over some things. I tend to want changes to happen quickly and when they don't, I get frustrated and negative.The Mrs and I had a great talk last night, albeit after one of my "meltdowns" where I flew off the handle way too quickly at #1. We have been having a hard time lately with school work with #1 and I don't seem to be able to show any patience or grace to her about this. I am not sure why grace is something that I don't seem to be able to give others. One of the things that struck me during our conversation was that in relation to my struggle with control, it really centers around Fear. This isn't something that is easy to talk about or even really think about. When I look at my life, I have realized that I have a lot of fear in me. I have a hard time letting go of myself and fully trusting God. The Mrs has been telling me that until I get to the end of myself, I cannot fully trust God. I know that she is right on (even though I don't want to hear it) but for me it is much easier said than done.

Ah-ha Moment

The Mrs. and I were able to get away for one night and spend some much needed time together. We had a very relaxing time together with no real schedule, just time talking, eating and resting. I had one of those "ah-ha" moments as we were talking last night. We both realized that because of the trials and that we have been through in our 14 yrs of marriage, that we don't really know how to have fun together...Not that excited to admit that, but the reality is that we both over-think things and talk things to death. We need to do things together that are not always serious or that need to be worked on. Now that our weekly Bible Study that we were taking is over, we are going to use that weekly time to "date". I am really looking forward to this time with the Mrs. and think it is going to help us grow closer together. I have already asked the Mrs for patience as this is not something that comes natural to me and for those of you who know me, I am not the best communicator.I am now down 15 lbs and starting to see some changes in how I look. I am really glad the hard work is paying off and I know that the next 15 lbs will be much harder, but as my Dad use to always say, "keep on, keeping on".

Progress...

13 is my new favorite #. For those of you who will actually read this and are wondering what in the heck I am talking about! Six weeks ago I finally decided, based on how I looked in the mirror, that I had been lazy long enough. I have been working out 6 days/week and have changed my eating habits, which includes paying close attention to my portions. Tuesdays are my "scale" day and am very habit to report that I have lost 13 lbs!. I am not proud to admit that when I started working out, I weighed 191 lbs and if my "public education" math is correct, I am now down to 178 lbs.One of the things that has been brought to light in my life recently is that I am a "recovering stuffer". This seems to have plagued me in most of my relationships in my life. I tend to "stuff" things down instead of working on them to bring resolution. As you can imagine, this doesn't bode well in a marriage or any close relationship. What I am learning is that this has led me to placing expectations (in most cases, false expectations) on Mrs. and others close to me....I hold others to a higher standard than even I am willing to live up to. The Lord has really been placing on my heart lately the need to open up to Mrs. and others and to show them love. I am not sure why I have such a hard time opening up and sharing my true feelings....but this is not the model that I want to show my girls

Putting my toe in the water

Welcome to my first ever blog and posting! Over the last few months I have been thinking about starting a Journal and then realized that my handwriting is so bad that many times I can't even read my own writing! I have also been inspired lately by a wise friend and a fellow "blogger" who shall remain nameless. I never thought thought that this inspiration would come from someone who not only raises Bees but has also been known to wear a Scottish kilt...I have felt over the last 6 months that I am in sort of a "transition" period in my life and have realized through my own reflection and the help of "she who shall not be ignored", that there are areas of my life that I have been very selfish and have become very lazy. I am still chewing on what all this really means and what I can do to change these behaviors, in my life.More to come....Otis